Who Are You Sleeping With?

     I am not writing this referring to one individual but to so many women who can't figure out why their romantic life isn't what they want.  Now if there is anyone to teach about romance it is NOT me.  I KNOW I have difficulty allowing people to get close to me and this includes marriage.  In numerology I  have what is called 2 - 5 energy in my birthdate.  The 2 in numerology is very loving and lovable while the 5 says "Keep Your Distance!".  I can recognize this duality in people's personalities right off the bat.  If your actions are saying love me love me love, "Don't you love me?" but you are carrying around a great big psychic "GO AWAY" sign above your head, you are sending out mixed messages.  What is it that you want?  Do you want to be loved or do you want to be left alone?  If your answer is "Both." then you have some decisions to make.  

     I cannot tell you how important it is to "Know thyself".  You cannot get to know you without sitting down in silence, going within and knowing how you feel.  When you know what you don't want it is so much easier to know what you do want.  That is where your past is so valuable.  Through what you have learned so far in life, the pain and choices you've made have helped you to identify what does not work for you. (WE HOPE)  Start by spending time in silence and ask yourself simple questions.  "What makes me happy."  "What would I have done differently."  Take this wisdom and go forward.

Now here is where this blog gets good.

     When I went through the Hilton training program becoming a hotel manager, I had to spend two weeks working with the housekeeping department.  I learned everything there is to know about cleaning a hotel room.  What Hilton did not teach me, is that I could read the energy on the bed from the hotel guest who had slept there the night before.  I could tell what type of rest they had.  I could feel if they were troubled.   Corporate anxiety and being under pressure with business travel was different from leisure travel energy.

      Then I got to thinking.  If I can read the imprint of the energy left on the bed, what the hell does that say about the energy imprint left on me from whom ever I slept with?  I was terrified.  So ok, there wasn't just the craziness or insanity from whatever that partner carried in their energy field, but knowing I may have had sex with them, they left their bodily fluids inside of my body.  OH MY GOD! Now our DNA is mixed and that is a permanent soul marker!!! Sexually transmitted disease was a totally different thing from what I am talking about.  Maybe a trip to the doctor will solve your STD problem, but now you have an imprint of what they carry in their energy field imprinted in your energy field!!  This is unbearable for me to think of. As I write I still throw my head back and shutter over realizing how badly I messed up.  If they had craziness in their life, hatred, resentment addictions, lack consciousness or any of those lower energies they carried in their aura, now I just dove in and said "Yes I will have a big heaping serving of all of that in my life too!"  "Thank you very much."  It works similar to placing your hand into piece of memory foam.  When you remove your hand your imprint stays and slowly lifts out.

When you find your life and relationships are not working you must STOP and clean yourself up. Look at what you have been attracting being aware you are carrying energies from past relationships everywhere you go.  You are allowing all that you don't want to bleed into new relationships.

Ladies I am 59 years old.  I was the Queen of one night stands in the late 1970's into the 1980's.  My life was a disaster.  Now I look back and know my sexual behavior was sabotaging any success I may desire.  I will not be sharing my body as I grow older, but for those of you who crave intimacy I beg of you to not just look for tall, dark and handsome or how well they dance. Look at what is in their life and ask if you want a big fat helping of all that too.

All my love,
Allyson